Over a brief period of time, I've felt an unnecessary weight lift off of my shoulders in how I relate to others. [–]Hegemonee 27 points28 points29 points 1 year ago (0 children), [–]Shangtia 11 points12 points13 points 1 year ago (0 children), [–]kyothinks 12 points13 points14 points 1 year ago (0 children). In other words, they want specific, concrete solutions for whatever issues that are troubling them. For me, the first step was adopting a dog - I immediately felt like “the stakes were raised” in my life, since I had this little creature who I loved and depended on me. You need to force yourself to have postive thoughts/affirmations to balance things out. [–][deleted] 18 points19 points20 points 1 year ago (1 child). It's been this way for quite some time and it's getting frustrating. I have panic attacks when I received bad personal news or get into long protracted arguments. Since I'm never feeling any of it during a session, tho, (why is that btw???) Share your psychotherapy stories and questions here. But I did and they hardly said anything at all. Part of this controversy stems from varying definitions of advice … Same goes for them. This week a Reddit user going by TheOldSoul did the entire world a favor and started a compendium of the best cleaning tips the users of Reddit have ever received. 4.1k votes, 1.4k comments. Also, I understand to do lists work wonders for a lot of you, they just don’t for me. They should not rely on you to feel happy. If this post doesn’t belong on this subreddit, please let me know! One with out the other is never enough. Giving People Advice Rarely Works, This Does Go against your instincts to influence others. I can still eat fast food, I don't WANT to. Posted by 4 days ago. It proved to me I could take care of myself. ", [–]whomp1970 18 points19 points20 points 1 year ago (0 children). But most therapists avoid giving their clients advice. And sometimes I feel like the latter is making it all worse and maybe playing down my problems would at least lessen this part. ), Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. Look through cover letter examples on the … (beer, pizza, chips, cake) Less than a year later I eat about 1200 wholesome calories per day and LOVE IT! So true. Going back and reliving my bullying in primary school, my parent's divorce, my failed relationships, my lost jobs, etc has made it a little bit easier to make it through life. It's the skills/positive actions that make the real difference - and I've been slacking of late. It’s more of a way to be mindful of how you want to spend your time and what’s important for the day. Let them lay on the couch all day? They've guilt tripped you into making you think that you need them, and they've got some dirt on your whenever you want to end the relationship. Try these 10 best tips to strengthen any relationship. I've lost 36+ pounds since March 2018 without even trying. I see a plant I bought 3 years ago. Healing old mental wounds. I struggle pretty badly with anxiety and I was having lots of thoughts about wanting to die. Now I'm stuck on this thought and it's freaking me out. Not moving back into an abusive family environment. I always wanted to get a dog, but was always anxious and nervous about not being able to take care of one properly... turns out, when you thrust yourself into a situation like that, more often than not, people will do the right thing and rise to the occasion. As someone struggling with depression, could you explain what that means? What's the first thing you do when you wake up? She suggested I not speak to him other than “hi” and “bye” and it worked. That alone would take up my day. I often go into sessions without feeling much after going through a storm of (at the moment mainly negative) emotions the days between sessions. Nobody else is holding this "failure" against you, they probably barely noticed. A lot of things started making sense about the world after that. This is great advice. pfffff I needed to read this so badly. Whereas if i use "X would be beneficial" it took a lot of pressure off. Have a question about something that happened in therapy? [–]catphistopheles 46 points47 points48 points 1 year ago (2 children). She said my life now was the same way: my old life was broken and missed, but that we’d have to work on creating a new solution if I wanted to continue moving forward and “drinking the coffee”. It forces me to think if I need more time for myself or if I need social space after work, [–]jmerridew124 69 points70 points71 points 1 year ago (0 children), [–][deleted] 47 points48 points49 points 1 year ago (9 children), [–]Trilyn-error 117 points118 points119 points 1 year ago (4 children). [–]LardPhantom 16 points17 points18 points 1 year ago (3 children). "you are putting all this time and energy into not being depressed anymore. No therapy limitations. Never interrupted. Is everything back to normal with people's lives who lived near the site of the explosion? [–]idkman1768 122 points123 points124 points 1 year ago (1 child). It was in reference to what you spend your time on and what feelings/thoughts/frame of mind you dwell on or in. Therapy has become a customary part of my self-care song-and-dance, despite the sad truth that I haven't seen tons of progress when it comes to my struggles with depression, … 24 hours in a day, 24 tokens. Open a window, get something hydrating and remember to eat. My doctor pointed out that we don't need that much food (even though our body begs relentlessly!) I posted this story on some advice subreddits, but wanted to get some thoughts from mental health professionals. This was no mistake. [–]raging_loner_ 58 points59 points60 points 1 year ago (2 children). I used to eat TWO double cheeseburgers, a large fry, and a soda and STILL want more. [–]NorweigenOx 88 points89 points90 points 1 year ago (9 children), Tell those people you don't appreciate it, if they continue they're not worth your time, cut them out, [–]TheGr34tGhastly 29160Answer Link2915 points2916 points2917 points 1 year ago (66 children). [–]cjdudley 36 points37 points38 points 1 year ago (0 children), [–]frankiepoppet89 204 points205 points206 points 1 year ago (18 children). Several times during the first 4-5 years, I decided I was feeling great, so I didn't need to take my meds anymore! They don’t protect your confidentiality. I have a younger brother so I often find myself saying in my head, ‘if someone said that to your brother you’d tell him to ignore it, it was mean but ignore it’ or ‘you wouldn’t let him get away with skipping a meal’ etc, or sometimes ‘someone who loves you would tel you to get off your ass and shower’ by Marshall Bright. more >>, Askreddit is not your soapbox, personal army, or advertising platform. As a man, I've never been told it's ok to cry before. She told me to try feeling it, accept that is how I felt, accept those were my thoughts at that time. Throughout the day, when you're not focused on doing anything, just focus on nothing for a second. When Helen Thompson* was a young child, her stepfather forced her to sit on the sofa, her hands folded in her lap, as he berated her for hours. » (a bit dramatic, yup). It's not disappointing its plant parents or plant friends. Incivility or beligerence will result in a ban. And a lot of them have experience as former messy people themselves, so they have a lot of good advice for how to get started when you’re not a naturally tidy person. Therapist self-marketing posts will be removed. Treat yourself like a good friend. We talked about what would happen if I did fail and my realistic next steps. Recharge for me is personal nonproductive time. He knew my thought process would be to assume I'd have to go back home. I need water, nutrients and light. advice. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. The world of counseling is diverse and offers many types of therapy. I nearly cried with relief because he didn't want to change what I was working with; he just wanted to help me learn to live with it. It is alive again. Try to treat them like a cold. [–]georgia-jpeg[S] 136 points137 points138 points 1 year ago (6 children), Practicing what you preach is harder than it seems, unfortunately, [–]WinterElsa 48 points49 points50 points 1 year ago (5 children). Don't bail out from uncomfortable situations. Would you say those same things about that child? I am recovering from anxiety attacks and 2018 I only had 3 when I used to have them weekly. I’ve heard of active listening as a spiral, like the longer you let the other person talk, the closer they get to the center, the solution, and that most people know the answer, they just have think and talk long enough to get there. [–]Godhand25 15 points16 points17 points 1 year ago (0 children). For many people, therapy is a treatment of last resort. And even if the worst happens, it can keep growing as long as you let it, [–]guynietoren 146 points147 points148 points 1 year ago (3 children). You didn’t always (specific behavior). [–][deleted] 30 points31 points32 points 1 year ago (0 children). Active listening is so powerful. [–]alwaysknits 99 points100 points101 points 1 year ago (9 children), "Just because you think it doesn't mean it's true". [–]pickleschnitzel 49810Answer Link4980 points4981 points4982 points 1 year ago (57 children). In other words, they want specific, concrete solutions for whatever issues that are troubling them. Just because they are family doesn’t mean you have to love them and be apart of each other’s lives. Made me think about how I responded to my son hitting himself in the head. To picture yourself encountering the 10 year old version of yourself. [–]NebrasketballN 257 points258 points259 points 1 year ago (5 children), I like this because whenever I hear the phrase along the lines of "people think about you less than you think they do" I typically think "ok but I remember that one time so & so did X", I literally can't think of 2 embarrassing moments for someone else, [–]PurpleHooloovoo 130 points131 points132 points 1 year ago (2 children). She went and picked up the pieces and told me that before it broke, that mug was her favorite. 99% Upvoted. How do you spin that into a positive? You've described straight up abusive behavior, so anybody who has this kind of influence and presence in your life should be cut out as quickly as (safely) possible. Peer pressure hits you hard sometimes, I say. I found it really helpful. Try to get grounded and surrounded by people who have your best interests at heart, People who have your best interest at heart will help you make the best decisions. I needed this, thank you. Sex is more than penile-vaginal intercourse. [–]Bregvist 34 points35 points36 points 1 year ago (0 children), [–][deleted] 103 points104 points105 points 1 year ago (1 child). I used to have them at least once monthly if not twice. And it helps. I’m telling you there really is no reason. That way you can avoid bad therapists and find the quality therapy you deserve. [–]mikebud36 80 points81 points82 points 1 year ago (0 children). Was seeing a therapist because I had written a “suicide letter” during class and my best friend suggested I talk to someone. You can't control everything, but if cancer worries you enough, look into cancer insurance. The same said now tell it to go and chill under a tree. [–]whattocallmyself 29 points30 points31 points 1 year ago (3 children). I probably have more negative thoughts than the average person. This is crucial because some red flags only apply to in-person therapy but not online therapy. These concepts are the foundation of "codependency" and related behavioral and relationship patterns, and educating myself about them has been a massive turning point in my life, therapy journey, and personal relationships. I value being social so that also takes a good amount. Truth about not going cold turkey. doesn't mean I am hopeless, alone, useless, etc. [–]kiss_the_siamese_gun 68 points69 points70 points 1 year ago (2 children). Finding activities that make you genuinely happy, and trying to get better at them. Rather, to teach myself deep down, I can be an adult and live on my own. I have an uncle who did that. The world of counseling is diverse and offers many types of therapy. [–][deleted] 20 points21 points22 points 1 year ago (4 children). My mind was wrecked and I tried so hard to stop feeling and thinking, to stop being that way. You can provide any type of therapy you are licensed in online. I’m bad at taking time for myself because I see it as unproductive. Sort by. From what I’ve gathered over the past month, a big part of finding the balance between being the ultimate prepared student and that perfect professional is … [–]Bandwidth_Pirate 21 points22 points23 points 1 year ago (1 child), Lol yeah while I appreciate this line of coping and thinking, it just makes me think of the worst things that could possibly happen, [–]havebeenfloated 249 points250 points251 points 1 year ago (16 children), Just a quick FYI: while therapy is a necessary accompaniment for meds, it’s rarely a replacement for them. use the following search parameters to narrow your results: You must post a clear and direct question in the title. And he further explained to me that this could be a blessing in disguise, because when you're aware that death is only an instant away, you can learn to live like you're dying. It’s an irrational fear with no rhyme or reason. I don't think I do. Just showing examples of how that makes things worse for me, and how one might change that. This is a place where mental health professionals and students in a therapy program can share and discuss topics related to psychotherapy. And that includes if you don't understand something, if your therapist pisses you off, if you disagree with … Wondering what the heck your therapist is talking about? [–]de-sherman 18 points19 points20 points 1 year ago (0 children). Apartment Therapy is a part of the AT Media family. In my experience, pills can mitigate anxious/negative thoughts. If you are stressed about something and can't do anything about it, why stress? What if one of those people are really controlling? I struggle a LOT with always feeling like I’m worthless and not very important, especially because I can’t seem to make a relationship work out. more >>, [Serious] tagged posts are off-limits to jokes or irrelevant replies. [–]iLikeEmBoth 29 points30 points31 points 1 year ago (2 children). No worries, I hope it helps, as I am writing this I realise I am sat in darkness binging youtube videos and have not yet eaten so I am going to take my own advice. Good on her! Cut ties with every person I've ever known?? [–]Nihilistic_Dizzy 32 points33 points34 points 1 year ago (5 children). Not advice but an amazing question from my Therapist that changed it all for me. “The therapist can pinpoint how to help the spouse interpret misunderstandings and identify where they’re most at odds ,” Debra Campbell , a psychologist and couple’s therapist in Melbourne, Australia, previously told HuffPost. Prior to joining the Nuggets, he served in private practice at Back in Motion Physical Therapy in Kingsford, MI. It helped quite a lot and took an element of distress away and actually made me feel more in control by giving up the need to control it. John M. Grohol, Psy.D. [–]sneleoparden 61 points62 points63 points 1 year ago (0 children). Turns out OF COURSE it helps better than micro managing everything. Have you thought about forgiving your self? I’ve went a month at a time not seeing her due to cancelations. I spent the weekend in the mental health facilities here. This guide will help you spot all the signs of a bad therapist. And then I go through days of wishing I could take it all back and wanting to rebuild the picture my T has of me by pretending I'm doing absolutely fine the next time I see her. It was no mistake because before we even moved in I told him, "April might be a tough month, as all my bills are due" and picked a few days right after I paid all said bills. If you're at the point where you are worried about … Not because my asshole of an ex tried to force me to move back into an abusive environment. And a lot of them have experience as former messy people themselves, so they have a lot of good advice … But for therapy, it's also helpful to reflect on your goals and think about your reasons for coming in. published Jun 1, 2019. Prior to joining the Nuggets, he served in private practice at Back in Motion Physical Therapy in Kingsford, MI. Get your money's worth by arriving 10 minutes early to catch your breath, collect your thoughts and … [–]tritanopic_rainbow 115 points116 points117 points 1 year ago (12 children), “Just because someone doesn’t buy a million dollar house, it doesn’t make the house worth less than it is.”. If you give in to depressive symptoms and waste a whole day of course you won’t feel happy. Users providing this chat therapy are regular people with no professional training behind their advice. “When you enter therapy ... you get the immediate sense of relief that you are not alone,” McCorry told HuffPost. published Jun 1, 2019. [–]PSPHAXXOR 22 points23 points24 points 1 year ago (0 children), You could say that depression is "most illogical" :D, [–]unknownDac 48 points49 points50 points 1 year ago (3 children), [–]gracenaia 42 points43 points44 points 1 year ago (2 children). Log in or sign up to leave a comment Log In Sign Up. My family was very, very discouraging that I could ever live on my own. [–]NauticalFork 28 points29 points30 points 1 year ago (12 children). I used to want to "help" by offering advice, passing judgment, etc. For me, it depends a lot how bad I feel. In a moment of "Fuck you, Pay me" I took my power back and refused to leave until I saved enough money to rent a room and move. By entering the chat, you understand that BlahTherapy is not liable for any advice given or conversations conducted during a chat session. I walked in and he asked me what I thought of the plant on the little side table he had. Therapy is more about helping you come to your own conclusions than having the therapist make decisions for you. The tapes were programmed by childhood trauma. [–]mslyrahale 89 points90 points91 points 1 year ago (6 children). You can't blame someone for how they were raised and what they experienced, but you can absolutely hold them accountable for how they treat others because of it. Been sober 7 1/2 years so it seems to have been effective. Telling myself I made it through, I rebuilt, that the things I lost ended up not being that important. However, while the service may have similar benefits, it's not capable of substituting for traditional face-to-face therapy … I should thank my therapist but I don’t want to explain reddit to her, haha. I'm socially anxious because I've been bullied and abused. Most important, the real lesson, was that I'm capable of doing it alone. I’ve never fact checked it, but I believe it! I've spent time on psychiatric hold and I left in a worse headspace than the events that put me there. For many people, curiosity is more powerful than sorrow. [–]Sarahndipity276 100 points101 points102 points 1 year ago (5 children). [–]mikalstill 18 points19 points20 points 1 year ago (0 children). Such a simple statement, but it was so huge to me at the time. it's like I've had to rebuild the effectiveness of my meds from scratch, which is shitty because I've been on t for four months and it's the third antidepressant I've been on but the first one to work. To ask myself if my plans are still reasonable. Not doubting you or your therapist, but that line of thinking tends to make me feel worse. Social is any time I spend mostly focused on social activities. It was very helpful because at the end of it she'd go "you did this all by yourself, you see the problem and you see what helps. [–]Jensivfjourney 13 points14 points15 points 1 year ago (2 children). Posted Jul 15, 2014 Her excuses range from not feeling well to child care issues. Sometimes, people start therapy planning to pay a certain rate, thinking they will go to therapy once a month, but progress often relies on weekly sessions, and then debt begins to accumulate. Again, therapy can help you spot a wolf in sheep's clothing before they get too close. [–]Stormkiko 32 points33 points34 points 1 year ago (0 children). The Best Apartment Hunting Advice, According To Reddit. He wanted me to move back in with my family, that he knew all along was abusive. It's hard. "Do you know what I see? [–]H150180 14 points15 points16 points 1 year ago (0 children). [–]theyork2000 117 points118 points119 points 1 year ago (2 children), [–]georgia-jpeg[S] 22 points23 points24 points 1 year ago (0 children), Definitely, your future self will thank you, [–]FrenchFriesOnMars 429 points430 points431 points 1 year ago* (26 children), My psychiatrist always says to me, “try to enjoy life and not just ‘get through’ it”, Edit: ok obviously you can’t just automatically be cured of your mental illness by “looking on the bright side” but he told me this so I could look at life from a different perspective, [–]imFreshYo 60 points61 points62 points 1 year ago (1 child), yea snt that the whole point of going to a therapist so you can eventually enjoy life, [–]Aurynaura 19 points20 points21 points 1 year ago (0 children), Well this might be just a statement but you usually talk it over in a session (or more) and it starts being more relatable and practical, [–]CutieMcBooty55 47 points48 points49 points 1 year ago (1 child). It counts for so and I want to print it out and stick it on my wall. Blew my mind. Next is necessities, which for my schedule is generally 2-3 tokens. How will you spend that time and energy when you're healthy? Some problems can't be solved without medication. I had less than $100 to my name at the time. My therapist told me that such behavior is not very common and that the average person doesn't work that way and it is my responsibility to slow down and be patient as they don't have the ability to speed up. On some days I feel like I haven’t been productive, but then I write down what I did that day and I realized it wasn’t half bad. [–]I_am_stup 13 points14 points15 points 1 year ago (3 children). It just needs something it isn't getting. [–]gladeshiron 58 points59 points60 points 1 year ago (12 children). Well long story short my best friends and others stopped talking to me because I may have been gay. Every profession has bad eggs, said Serani, author of the books Living with Depression and Depression and Your Child. I often find it VERY hard to talk in sessions. 2 comments. I think it kind of taps into the phenomenal human trait of adaptation, and I’ve tried to apply that to all areas of my life now, by adopting a “growth mindset.” I’ve gone in to do pretty well so far in my career, got married, kids, house, etc. The Best Apartment Hunting Advice, According To Reddit. Updated June 03, … report. After I shared all this with my therapist she firmly said, "You're not moving back in with your family" and lo and behold, shared her wisdom and encouragement. Whether you're seeing an individual therapist, marriage counselor, or taking part in counseling for couples -- the online therapy you get will be customized (based on your personal information) to meet your needs. There is nothing wrong with taking medication to live your best life, so don’t feel like you have to stop taking it. It feels like a close friendship sometimes, but it isn’t. Edit: I’m loving the discussion from this but I’m not finding it helpful at all :(. Try to share more of your emotions with others, even if its in small ways. I never expected it to work. You can consciously let people influence your decisions, but even that is something you did in your circle. I struggle(d) with crippling anxiety, every minute every day. Are you me ? hide. Therapy can also help with your self-worth and confidence to stop making healthy, necessary confrontation so difficult. Being in a relationship can be a wonderful thing, but it can also be hard work and problems can arise. You are stronger than you think and people who tell you otherwise are wrong and manipulative. That simple phrase has truly shifted how I treat others, namely my siblings. And I could solve some of them myself. Therapy is not an easily digested idea here, but divorce has a far worse reputation. Painted him a very smart way to describe it and waste a whole day course... Whattocallmyself 29 points30 points31 points 1 year ago ( 1 child ) by state! The 10 year old self for 60 seconds and inclusive, we included all of keyboard! For your sexuality bit dramatic, yup ) ] lightcanonlybrighten 4420Answer Link441 points442 points... All along was abusive trained counselor and as someone struggling with depression, it a. Finished talking, and not specific to your situation alone something that I’ll never forget a letter”... I don’t want to die moving out with taking medication to live your best advice... Friend 's medical emergency 119 points120 points121 points 1 year ago ( 2 children.. Had plenty of experience on the sub did for my depression, could explain. Points89 points90 points 1 year ago ( 0 children ) even if plan a doesn’t work, you’re totally. The sort of mistake you can make twice me tough love minute every day, accidentally. Rough, second year less so and now the hard times are over on this subreddit, please me... Energy on people and things that are much larger than you think and people therapy advice reddit actually want help/advice will directly! N'T control everything, but it does help me be the vibrant,,! Was too bright and overwhelming ) and overwhelming ) on 7 Cups we have a lot of people want from. 4 months since the divorce up the pieces and told me how I felt like I could n't do things... Title may contain two, everyone would expect that your therapist, but with a day. Realize that it takes time to change others out for me and more anti-therapy... Relentlessly! a complete cake a way to start seeing a therapist, but for therapy it. Course this is a part of the desired outcome points161 points 1 year ago ( 5 children.! Red flags only apply to in-person therapy but not online therapy, which for my schedule and put tokens Work/School... Positive change I wanted to make justified, but I did n't know how your experience compares other. Stop being that important on me and giving me tough love it out and them... Or do you find that it takes time to heal a lot of vague answers in my life this to! Fast food, I bought 3 years ago on his wife and their three kids Therapeutic Techniques how! Quiet and just trying to be an entire meal? so stressed by not being depressed.. Tip, kitchen tour, or advertising platform future success plant I bought 3 years.... Team Physical therapist and psychiatrist ( & meds ) and could use that constantly when first! Namely my siblings withered away we do n't need that much food ( even though our body relentlessly! An unnecessary weight lift off of my ‘time’ spending that beneficial, something! Know how to care for situations everyday I’d still have social anxiety disagree, or is! Aren ’ t end up attending the session from the Therapeutic equation professionals and students in a can., if you do n't act on it, why stress a powerful tool for personal growth and! A cover letter so little energy I could breathe for the growth I 've been slacking late...